So, our third year wedding anniversary just passed and I have been thinking about our journey and how we got to where we are today.
Travis and I met in high school, the year was 2005 and we didn’t have a care in the world. He played football and I was a cheerleader so our encounter didn’t just happen by chance. Prior to meeting Travis for the first time, one of my close friends at the time told me about him and made the comment that, “I already know y’all are gonna date”…perhaps it was because Travis was the new kid on the block (moving to WV from MD). Well, a few days later, our football team had a scrimmage and it just so happened that the other team went in and stole a bunch of stuff from the football locker room. One of the items missing happened to be Travis’ cell phone. I just happened to be walking around outside of the locker room after he realized his phone was missing and he asked to use my phone to call his phone. In high snob fashion, I simply said no. I worked at McDonald’s while in high school and later that evening, he came through drive through with his friends. I guess I thought I was trying to be cute or what not because I gave him and his friends a ton of free food.
Fast forward to a few days later, we both happened to show up at a Shepherd University football game wearing the same sneakers (black Jordan X’s). We just commented on how we had the same sneakers on and that was about it. Since Travis played on our high school football team, he became good friends with my brother and his friends. I think it was that night that they all went out and asked Travis to join. I can’t remember exactly what they did that night, but I do remember Travis showing up at my house to meet up with my brother and his friends. My brother’s room was down in the basement and I would sleep down there from time to time because that is where our computer was located. Travis said that when he walked in that night, I was looking all sweaty while sleeping on the couch. Hey, my dad is Jamaican and is accustomed to the heat. Also, he didn’t believe in wasting current so our house stayed hot!
School started a few days later and my friend Kourtney and I decided that we were going to try and go out to eat as much as we could our senior year without having to pay for anything. We were just walking out of homeroom and we ran into Travis. I decided that he could be our first victim. I asked him if he could take us out to eat and he said yes and asked to put my number in his phone.
A few hours later, he texted me and asked when did I want to go out to eat. I didn’t have free messaging at the time so I called and let him know why I couldn’t text him back. We then decided to go out to eat that night. I had a buy one get one free coupon for our local Japanese steakhouse, Kobe, so that is where we went. It was sort of a double date because my friend Kourtney joined with a guy that she conned into taking her out to eat also. When I say it was the most awkward dinner ever, I am not kidding! Travis was on his phone the entire time (now that I think about it, what was he doing? It isn’t like he had internet on his phone back then. He must have been playing “snake” on his Nokia) lol. We were only like 16 at the time (I had just turned 17 and Travis was a few weeks shy of turning 17). Maybe we just both felt awkward around each other because we only had a few conversations here and there in passing prior to this dinner date.
That night at Kobe didn’t turn out as bad as I thought because Travis texted me later that night. Didn’t I tell him before that I didn’t have text messaging on my phone? Like hello, stop texting me! Haha. I called to tell him that I couldn’t text back and he said, “I know, I just wanted you to call me”. Ok! After that, we hung out all of the time. I remember him asking me out every single day until I said yes. Prior to meeting Travis, I didn’t want a boyfriend because it was my senior year of high school and I had already picked the college in which I wanted to attend (Marshall University). I wanted to live it up in college and not worry about being tied down to anyone. Eventually, I said yes to Travis and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We would talk on the phone all the time, hang out in school, after school, on weekends, etc. It was great! I only worked on Sundays at that point and he would come and visit me at work every single Sunday! We said “I love you” around this time in our relationship. If I knew then what I know now, it wasn’t love, it was infatuation. Come on now. We were only 17.
Fast forward a few months later. Five months into our relationship, we made the adult decision to have sex. We didn’t know what we were doing, but I do remember telling him that since we had sex, we would be getting married. He probably thought I was crazy at the time, but I was serious. Not realizing it at the time, but having sex before marriage is never a good thing. It can lead to heartbreak and in my case, vulnerability. Where I was once so strong minded and didn’t have a care in the world, I started to become emotional and weak. A few months after we had sex for the first time, we broke up. I was devastated. This was my first “real” relationship. I dated in the past, but it was never as serious as my relationship with Travis. My parents loved him, his parents loved me…it was just too good to be true. We broke up a few weeks before prom because I remember losing a ton of weight (stressed out, couldn’t eat, etc.). When I went to go try on my dress, I was so frail and my dress looked awful on me. I think that is when my parents knew something was up. Travis and I broke up because I found out that he was talking to a girl from his old school in Maryland. Unbeknownst to me, that would be the first of many. We decided to get back together before prom and everything was peachy…so I thought. A week after our prom, he ended up taking the girl that he was talking to from Maryland to her prom (I found out because of myspace). Talk about knife in the heart! Gosh, I was HURT! I ended up losing more weight and looked even more terrible than I did before.
So, the summer of 2006 flew by and it was time to leave for college. Travis decided to attend Tuskegee University and play football so he had to leave a few weeks before me. We still weren’t together, but we would talk occasionally (occasionally means at least once a day). When he left for college, I decided to just let it go because given his track record, I wanted to be free from that. Plus, it’s not like he wanted to be in a relationship anyway. We went three weeks without talking at that point. He called me one night before I left for college and I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to be sucked back into his trap. Like I said, I wanted to be a free bird while in college. His mom actually called me a few days later and asked me to come see her before I left for school because well, I did have a good relationship with her and she just wanted to make sure I was ok. Before we got off of the phone, she told me that Travis wanted me to give him a call. Ummm… do you not know that your son hurt me beyond repair? So, I decided to call him that night – the night before I left for school. We talked and talked and talked…it was nice having my best friend back. A few weeks later, we decided to give it a try again. The key thing to remember here is that we were attending different colleges.
I will pick back up where we left off………
Back to Raising. XOXO.