I rolled over and looked at my phone around 230a this morning. I was so happy because neither Hendrix or Jovi woke me up by that point. Fast forward to 3a, Jovi calls himself wanting to play. I try to quietly get out of bed without waking big brother up, NOPE…not even 5 minutes later, here comes Hendrix trotting down the steps with his cup in hand.
Days like this make me want to not have anymore kids. It’s tough. I value my sleep. Sleep makes me happy. I love my kids so much, but I really feel like I am a walking zombie. I know that this is just a season and they will eventually learn to sleep again, but it seems like this season will never end.
I don’t like to ask Travis for help with the boys in the middle of the night. It’s not because he won’t help (because I know he will), but it’s because I feel like I can better function without sleep than he can. He is a teacher and since he has to deal with students all day, that can be tiresome within itself. Thus, he really needs his beauty sleep more than I do. Plus, I feel like God made mothers to be superstars, a one stop shop, if you will. We can pretty much handle anything, even if it’s with only getting three hours of sleep in a four day span.
Since I don’t drink coffee, I have been drinking a ton of soda for the caffeine. I know soda and lack of sleep are terrible for my skin. I hope to GLO up one day, but as for now, I’m a walking hot mess.
Shakespeare so eloquently wrote in the Tempest, “We are such stuff as dreams are made on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep”. Now to me, this means the true meaning of life comes from our dreams and imaginations. How can I dream if i never sleep? I guess I’ll just #STAYWOKE.
I know that one day, my babies will grow and I will eventually sleep again. It’s funny because Travis and I were talking the other day and we realized that one day, our babies won’t be babies anymore and then it will just be the two of us. We joked and talked about the things we will and won’t be doing at the age of 54. He said that there will be certain things that we won’t do because we will be too old to do it. I told him to make sure that he remembered what he said because when we hit 54, I will be sure to remind him of what he said (haha).
Anyway, I need to get off of my soapbox and try to get at least an hour of sleep before the boys wake up. Although I am so tired all the time, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Seeing my babies up playing and enjoying each other is priceless…even in the wee hours of 4am.
Back to Raising. XOXO.