About a month or so before Jovi was born, Travis got me a Bible geared specifically towards women (you can get your copy here). I remember being so excited to read that particular Bible that I would set aside at least an hour or so before bedtime to read a few chapters and meditate on the Word. It wasn’t too hard to carve out time for myself because we only had Hendrix at the time and it was fairly easy getting him to sleep.
The day we had Jovi, I remember telling Travis to make sure to pack my Bible because I wanted to read it while in labor. Although he did pack my Bible, I was definitely not able to read during labor because Jovi was born a mere 28 minutes after checking into the hospital! Even so, I was still able to read throughout our stay because Jovi slept a lot, much like every other newborn.
I still continued to read my Bible as the weeks passed, but life with two kids was a huge adjustment at first…and time just started to slip further and further away from me. I had to learn how to manage myself on top of handling a toddler and a newborn. But…that’s not to say that I had to do it all alone though, because Travis went above and beyond to help. Mostly, he handled Hendrix while I handled Jovi…so it wasn’t too bad!
Still, I didn’t have enough time to focus on myself and more importantly, my studying of the Word. When Jovi was asleep, I was busy trying to pump to build a stash of milk for when I returned to work, or I was busy trying to shower, or even catch up on sleep. Now that the boys are a little older (21 months and 5 months), I feel like I am starting to sense normalcy in my life.
At some point or another, I started to realize that I have been allowing everything and everyone to get in the way of me forming a more intimate relationship with my God. How is that so? How did I allow myself to get so busy that I forgot to put God first? I remember hearing Joyce Meyer say that everything is so exciting when a person first gets saved and then all of a sudden, their fiery passion dies along with the flame. I can relate – when I first got my Bible, I was so excited to read it and develop a closer relationship with God, but then when something new came along (Jovi), I all of a sudden didn’t have time for God. The same very God that blessed me with my sweet baby boy, I no longer had time for. What a shame! Seriously.
Just recently, I have found myself meditating on Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” Today, I choose to stop making excuses. I do not want to be so busy that I forget where my help comes from (Psalm 121:2). I want to reclaim my time. I don’t want to be in such a rush that I fail to put what matters first. Of course Travis and the boys are my heartbeats, but as John 15:5 states, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” I used to love being busy, but busy isn’t something that I am going to strive for. Being busy will not equate to my success. However, being still WILL allow me to focus my time and not only that, it WILL allow for less stress and just a happier life. Who wouldn’t want that?
Back to Raising. XOXO.